be your truest introvert self
essentially how to live a successful introverted life
being an introvert, you’ve probably heard that you need to “speak up more” or “try and make more friends”. believe me, i’ve heard it thousands of times and it doesn’t get less irritating.
living as an introvert has its hardships: social pressures, misjudgements of being ‘antisocial’ or ‘shy’, loneliness, and self-acceptance.
relieving these pressures is easier than you think. living and introverted life free from interrogation and criticism isn’t possible, but embracing your introverted nature can help you live happily as an introvert and minimise the struggles that accompany the term ‘introvert’.
self-acceptance
first and foremost, setting boundaries for your own personal space, time, and energy is so important if you want to live a life at ease. communicating your needs with others and learning to say ‘no’ is a skill that you must practice mastering; practicing saying no in the mirror is a great way to start, and as your confidence builds up, so does your ability to speak out when you need time for yourself.
this is pretty basic knowledge about introverts, but introverts lose their social battery much faster than extroverts do in social situations. they need time to ‘recharge’ these batteries because of a stimulation overload and to find time to reflect on their experiences within that social situation (introverts are natural over-thinkers at heart). there’s a really interesting study about the different brain chemistries of introverts and extroverts. an introvert’s brain is more responsive to dopamine, the chemical released when one experiences something pleasurable; something that makes them feel good, motivating them to seek the same reward again. in the case of dopamine, extroverts have more dopamine receptors, thriving off situations that reward them with a dopamine fix. introverts care less about these socially stimulating environments and are more sensitive to its effects. so, really, it’s all about energy levels, not how shy or confident you appear, it’s all science!
it probably sounds extremely cliche, but accepting and embracing your introversion is the most important part of being truly you. introversion isn’t a flaw or something that needs to be ‘fixed’. i’m telling you now, you don’t need to be fixed.
self-care comes first
self-care comes hand-in-hand with the introvert lifestyle, especially after a big social event or large gathering. recharging your energy can be done by simple acts of self-care (i find it easiest to recharge by listening to some calm music and reading a book). other forms of self-care include spending time in a quiet environment, even if that’s just your room, taking a walk, putting on a face mask or taking a bubble bath. meditation is also essential as a mode of pensive self-care as it allows yourself to become more understanding of your thoughts and feelings. meditation provides you with a context for a self-nurturing environment, and that’s what it’s all about; looking after oneself so you can live a calm, composing life.
plan social interactions at your own pace
this may sound contradictory, but planning social interactions can help you live the best life you possibly can as an introvert. a common misconception about introverts is that they dislike social interactions and have burdening social anxiety. this isn’t true; social anxiety and introversion are two different concepts which must be treated as separate entities. one is a mental health condition, one is related to social energies. i think you can decipher which one’s which.
introversion relates to social energy, whereas social anxiety is particularly focusing on the inability and struggle to engage in social interaction. the common similarity between socially anxious people and introverts is that they dislike big social gatherings. introverts can struggle in social situations, but it isn’t because they have no social skills and are afraid of social circles, rather they prefer to be alone and would rather be elsewhere than in a big room of conversations.
introverts often feel more comfortable with planned social events. if you yourself make the plans, you have a measure of self-control and influence in when you choose to socialise. you can therefore prepare your energy levels and fuel your battery charge up before you start socialising. small but strategic steps can allow introverts to engage more deeply without carrying this overwhelming sensation on their backs.
remember, you have the power to choose how big or how small your circles are; whether its one-on-ones or just a small group.
work on your communication skills
developing communication skills as an introvert is more difficult than for extroverts. dopamine is a big influence to this, given introverts are naturally less inept to the dopamine chemicals, which restricts the ability to openly communicate. i guess that’s why introverts are always associated with being shy people, because some introverts are shy people.
expressing your thoughts and ideas in a clear, open manner can allow you to be more assertive in your communication. navigating these kind of situations can become easier if you try to talk more in a social context, but also to communicate your need for solitude when necessary. again, we are brought back to the topic of control; the more in control of your life you are, you often live a happier, more freeing, euphoric life.
interact with other introverts
finding likeminded individuals and seeking introvert-friendly environments can help you build meaningful, true relationships. introverts often connect with those who understand them, and share similar preferences. therefore, choosing an environment and connecting with people at your comfort level can make your social life less draining and more concise.
educate your friends and family
educating others on what introversion is can also provide value to your own life in the sense that you can enlighten others on what the term really means. avoid misconceptions and social stigma in your explanations, and help others understand the need for alone time and the opportunity to recharge your batteries. don’t be ashamed of this; it’s a fundamental aspect of your personality and meaningful education is a step towards living the life you want to live.
comparing yourself to extroverts is toxic, so leverage your introvert strengths to your advantage. this goes for both your personal and professional life; you’d be surprised statistically by how important introverts are to the workforce.
focus on the strengths of introverts, because they certainly outweigh the challenges.
deep thinking, a creative mind, the ability to form small close connections, intelligence, mindfulness.
accepting that you have all of these incredible traits is a step towards feeling happier and more fulfilled with your life, therefore more tolerant to your introversion. you’ll feel more sensitively “at one” with who you truly are.
How is she supposed to admire other people if she can’t admire herself?
thank you for reading!! i hope you have learnt a thing or two about how to strive as an introvert and how to live your truest introverted self. from one introvert to another, you’re not alone. let’s embrace introversion together!